Laugh It Up!
Here are a few originals directly from MamaBee Comedy!
There’s no need to thank me. My therapist does every time I write a check.
Enjoy a good laugh and be sure to send the link to your friends!
So you like these and want to see more 1 liners from MamaBee Comedy’s sets from Pro-Am Comedy LIVE in Twitter? Well, look no further! They’re tucked away in my therapists file and can also be found here! Enjoy!
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I told my hubby, “I know you’re crazy about me.” He replied, “No, I’m crazy BECAUSE of you. There’s a difference, ya know.” I don’t think he minds being locked out of the house, instead of being locked in. There’s a difference, ya know!
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The folks in DC would declare a “National Day of Honesty” in which they shall be totally honest with the citizens of the USA. Of course, being a national holiday, they would also take that day off from work.
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Our Nation’s leaders may take an even softer & gentler approach to warfare. They’re going to start dropping “F” bombs instead.
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I wish to show my support for all the folks who still have both butt cheeks, for without both of them, they’d fall over while sitting down & would be considered half assed. Please show your support for all of the half assed people of this world. They only wish to be accepted among those of us who are complete asses.
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Airlines want to charge for using the crapper? Really? Will they have a scale to weigh your output and charge passengers by the ounce? Fat folks beware! This might cost ya!
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I was singing & my hubby shouted, “Ya sound like a cat who’s had his tail stomped on!” I asked him, “Are you sayin’ I don’t have perfect pitch?!” Hubby shook his head, “Nope! Not at all.”……. After my hubby woke up, I replied. “I might not have perfect pitch, but my aim was spot on!”
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Bi-polarism, what a concept! One side of your mind saying speak up and the other saying shut up! What to do?! What to do?! Angel or devil?! OMG! Awe heck! Let ‘em all speak at once! Whahoo! Party of one with loads of fun! Speak to one or more personalities at one time! So I guess if you see a performer who’s bi-polar, do you get two for the price of one?! Interesting! No, I’m not bi-polar! Just ask my socks!
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Two rednecks read their own wedding vows to each other on their wedding day. The groom gazed lovingly into his bride’s eyes, “I want to thank my aunt for bringing you into this world….”.
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One Maine redneck was rescued and was suffering from severe hypothermia. How did this happen? Apparently she was trying to make ice cream and failed. When asked why making ice cream had almost killed her she stated, “My ice cream maker broke, so I drank the ice cream mix and was sittin’ out on my doorstep tryin’ ta freeze it.”
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I recently met up with a redneck woman who had the strangest hyphenated last name I’d seen in years. Both names were the same. I asked her how this came to be. She explained, “I decided to keep my maiden last name and still take on my married name.”
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The redneck husband knew his new wife was reaching a bit when she began arguing with him. She yelled, “You’re wrong!” Frustrated, the husband shouted back, “Nobody will agree with you, woman!” His wife was determined, “My mom & your aunt do!” He shook his head, “That’s cheating! They’re both the same woman!”
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Rednecks claim to be the first to “go green”. When asked how this was true, one redneck explained, “We don’t believe in family trees and wanted to save branches, so we stuck to a single twig.”
Author: Mary Taylor Bunker
Copyright 2009-2011©Mary Taylor Bunker
All rights reserved.
